Individuating: In The Thick Of It

I recently wrapped up season 2 of the Spike Lee produced Netflix series, She’s Gotta Have It. The show is loosely based on his 1986 film of the same name. Nola Darling is a struggling artist who simultaneously dates several people in the midst of finding herself. Each of her lovers cater to a different facet of her personality. Honestly, I feel like I watched this season too quickly because there were so many nuggets to digest.

However, one of the standout moments for me came from Estelle, who plays Nola’s therapist. She mentions that she hasn’t seen Nola in a while and suspects she is in the thick of it. Specifically, she calls it her “individuating” process. I can relate to some of Nola’s struggles of not wanting to compromise her art for the masses, learning how to move forward from lessons in love and most importantly, listening to her own voice.

How many times have you found yourself going against your gut feeling because someone advised you otherwise? Or what happens when voices are muffled by all of the other well meaning chatter and distracting noise around us? It’s all more than enough to feel defeated and confused. One of the biggest lessons I learned from season 2 of She’s Gotta Have It is to find the beauty of the “individuating” process. Like Nola, none of us have it all figured out and we all must walk through it…….individually. That’s where the growth happens.